Weddings

These notes have been prepared to help people who are considering getting married in church

At the heart of every Church wedding service stands a couple who love each other and who wish to make a loving commitment in the presence of God. Weddings do not need to be big, elaborate or expensive occasions. The Church does not have a dress code for brides or grooms and there is no obligation to have a lavish reception or to make a photographic record. The love and sincerity of the couple and the support of family and friends are the crucial ingredients in a wedding service.

Who can get married in our churches?

Anyone who is legally entitled to get married. That means:

Neither party is already married.
The couple are not directly related to each other.
Both partners are above 18 years of age. (or 16 if parents give their consent).
The partners are of different sexes.

Under the recent Marriage Measure, which came into force on October 1st 2008, engaged couple are welcome to be married in church in a parish if:

One of them lives in the parish;
One of them regularly worships in the parish;
One of them was baptised or prepared for confirmation in the parish;
One of them has ever lived in the parish for six months or more;
One of them has at any time regularly attended public worship in the parish for six months or more;
One of their parents has lived in the parish for six months or more in their child’s lifetime;
One of their parents has regularly attended public worship there for six months or more in their child’s lifetime;
Their parents or grandparents were married in the parish;
They have a genuine proven connection with the parish.

What if I have been divorced?

The Church does marry people, either or both of whom may have been divorced, depending on individual circumstances.

Marriage vows before God are made for life but we recognise that sometimes there are circumstances that make it impossible to continue so do come and talk.

Do I have to be married on a Saturday?

You can be married any day of the week provided it is between 9am and 6pm.

There are three churches in the parish, in which one can I be married?

You can choose, but be aware that St Michael’s seats about 70 people, St Andrew’s about 140, and All Saints’ to 200.

Who will take my marriage?

This will normally be the vicar or the assistant priest.

What is the wedding service like?

God is love and those who live in love live in God and God lives in them.

Wedding services are beautiful and moving occasions at which family and friends gather to surround the couple with their prayers and support. In preparing the service the priest and couple will always have these aims uppermost in their minds.

There are lots of traditions which apply to church weddings but couples should appreciate that most of these are options which they may or may not like to have. All that is needed for a wedding service is that the legal conditions be complied with and that the vows are exchanged in the hearing of two witnesses and the priest, and that at least one ring is given. When all this has happened the register is signed and a certificate is given.

In addition to this there are prayers and music. The bride often has the support of bridesmaids and is traditionally escorted by her father or another relative. The groom usually has a best man to support him and look after the rings. He generally sits on the right hand side of the church while he waits for the bride to arrive.

Many of the trappings of a church wedding are options, a matter of taste or what you feel is appropriate. Weddings in church can be very simple. Sometimes it is the really small ones which are the most moving because they are so intimate and personal.

The Order of Service is set by the Church of England. After the bride has arrived everyone is welcomed and the first hymn is sung. The priest then reads the introduction to the service in which the Church’s view of marriage is presented. The declarations are made. In these the couple commit to marry, and the family and friends agree to support them in their new life together.

After this there is a reading from the Bible and a short address. After another hymn the couple make their marriage vows and the rings are exchanged. The couple are then declared to be married and their marriage is blessed. At this point we sign the registers. If you would like to have extra readings and music during the signing of the registers you may. If you have special connections with a musician you are welcome to have them perform, and an ordained friend or relative is welcome to take part in the service.

All this is decided when you talk about the service with the Vicar.

The service then continues with prayers for the couple and their future. There is a final hymn.

You might like to consider getting married in the context of a Eucharist (communion service). Traditionally this is known as a nuptial mass. You can still choose readings and hymns. If you are a regular member of our congregation and have fewer guests from outside the valley you could get married within our 10am Sunday Eucharist. If you have a large number of people coming which would make this difficult you can still have your marriage in the context of a communion service if you wish.

What about costs?

The basic cost to each couple for a church wedding is at the moment in the region of £400, which includes bell ringers and organist. You pay this in good time before your ceremony. Cheques should be made payable to the Parish of the Woodford Valley.

There is no collection during the wedding service but we leave a plate at the door. We hope you will encourage your guests to support us by making a donation.

What about a rehearsal?

We normally have a rehearsal the evening before the ceremony (but other times are possible). It is useful to have there: the couple, the bride’s father, the best man, any bridesmaids, an usher and anyone who is going to read.

How long does the service last?

Approximately 40 minutes.

Flowers

You may want to talk about flowers. You may want to do these yourself or employ florists. You may be happy to have the flowers that would normally be in church anyway. In any case you should talk to those in charge of flower arranging after you have first talked with the Vicar.

All Saints: Mary Wilson

St Andrews': Sally Templer

St Michael': Sarah Coate

Bells

We have a team of very good bell-ringers who can ring at St Andrew’s and All Saints’. There are no bells at St Michael’s. You can ask for the bells when you first see the vicar.

Music

The Vicar will assist you in the choice of music and make sure you have an organist. If you wish to have a friend or relative to play the organ, this must be with our agreement and the agreement of the organist. The fees (embedded in the £400) must still be paid.

Readings

At least one reading must be from the Bible (we will help you in that choice). Poems or other readings may be included with our agreement. A friend or relative is welcome to read.

Photography

There should be no photography during the service by congregation members. An official photographer, which can be a nominated friend, can take pictures freely on entrance and exit and during the registration of the marriage. That same person can take other pictures at any point in the service as long as they stay in one place and do not use ‘flash’. Videos are more difficult and are best avoided but discuss with the Vicar if you really want one. There will be an extra fee for the organist.

Confetti

There is no problem with confetti providing it is fully biodegradable.

Facilities for guests

There is plenty of car parking at all three churches but we do need to know your needs as at St Michael’s and St Andrew’s we need to organise the opening of privately owned fields for the use of your guests.

There are toilet facilities at All Saints’ and St Andrew’s but not at St Michael’s.

Wheelchair access is possible at all three churches.

There is a loop system on the North Side of All Saints’ for those who need it.

Order of service

You will need to organise this. Many people do their own on a computer these days. There is a definite order in which the service is laid out. We will help you with that. You will have examples to look at.

What do I do first?

Booking

Telephone the vicar on: 01722 782 310. She will arrange a time to meet you, and it will all flow from there. We will do our best to meet your preferred date. All legal paper-work will be done at the first meeting.

Banns

Before you can be married in church your banns must be read. This means that it must be announced in your Parish Church that you intend to get married. When this is done people have the opportunity to say that they know of a reason why you should not be married. The congregation at the wedding service also get this opportunity. When you book the wedding you will be told when your banns will be read. Banns are read on three Sundays in a row.

If you both live in the parish or are regular worshippers then your banns will be called only in our churches. If one of you lives in another parish then you must arrange to have the banns called there as well. You will not be able to be legally married until you have given the vicar your banns certificate from that other parish. You need not organise this until you have seen the Vicar who will sort it out with you.

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